On Tuesday, Dusty Baker's new employer signed former Cub/Oriole Corey Patterson to a minor league contract. According to mlb.com, Baker, the ol' on-base-percentage discounter, "lobbied publicly for Cincinnati to sign a lefty-hitting leadoff hitter like Patterson or Kenny Lofton."

There's a difference, of course, between being a "leadoff hitter" and a guy who just happens to find his name in the first slot on his manager's lineup card. Lofton, with 7,929 lifetime plate appearances and a .371 OBP from the top spot is a LEADOFF HITTER; Patterson, with 711 leadoff plate appearances and a corresponding .299 OBP, is not.

Put another way--the Arcane Cubs List way--here are the players with the ten lowest cumulative on-base percentages and a minimum 3,000 plate appearances since 2001, Corey Patterson's first full season in the big leagues:

Brother, that's one ugly team picture.

In the interest of fairness to the Cubs, I should point out that the Alex Gonzalez listed is not the one who played here in Chicago. In the interest of denigrating the Cubs, I should point out that Brandon Inge, sitting there in the number 6 position on the list, was linked to the Cubs via trade rumor on Tuesday.