It pleases me to know that even if Soriano can't handle left, center or right, and DeRosa turns out to simply be a rich man's Neifi Perez, and Ramirez really shows us the meaning of the word lazy, and Wood and Prior and Marshall and Marmol and Guzman all injure their obliques and their rotator cuffs and everything else there is to pull, tear or rupture, and Sweet Lou is pining for the good ol' days in Tampa by mid-June, and the Cubs lose 120 games, and things get so bad even Yosh Kowano is embarrassed to be associated with the organization, they still won't be the worst team in Chicago.