At least, not yet.
On page 24, a certain former manager of a certain Chicago National League Ballclub sits down with SI's Richard Deitsch and tackles queries about everything from America's renewed interest in space travel to the possible shape of a post-Castro Cuba.
I'm kidding. Dusty talks about the things you'd expect a 57-year-old baseball manager turned broadcaster to talk about.
But before you tear into the new issue--fabulous picture of Brian Urlacher on the cover--see if you can separate Dusty's actual responses from those I wrote, doing my best Johnnie B. Baker, Jr. impersonation.
About his willingness to leave his job at ESPN and take over a team in mid-season:
A.) It depends. I don’t want to be a guillotine over some manager’s head. I’ve been there before. If it’s the right job…I would consider it. But I’m not soliciting.
B.) Maybe, but I don’t think this year. I’m gonna give this broadcasting thing a chance and then we’ll see. By next season, my family will probably be dying to get me out of the house.
About the importance he places on managing again:
A.) To be honest, I don’t worry about it. If the good Lord wants me to get into that uniform again, I’ll go where He leads me.
B.) It’s important. But you can’t hire yourself.
About whether he would vote Mark McGwire or Barry Bonds into the Hall of Fame:
A.) That’s not my place to say. The writers are gonna vote for who they’re gonna vote for. All I know is, they were great players.
B.) Yeah…People assume they’re guilty when they haven’t really been proven guilty.
About his relationship with Barry Bonds:
A.) It’s good. It’s great. I thought the world of his daddy, and there’s a side of Barry that other people, the fans and media and whatnot, will never know.
B.) My relationship with Barry is that I’m glad to see him when I see him. Barry is a very private dude. Nobody hardly sees Barry in the off-season.
About the possibility that he might so excel at broadcasting that he would never return to managing:
A.) …like Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I’ll be back." In the meantime, I’ll enjoy where I am.
B.) You can never tell. Maybe I’ll win a few Emmys and people will forget I was ever in the dugout.
EXTRA CREDIT QUESTION:
Which of these popular music figures does Baker mention in the course of one of his answers?
A.) Simon Cowell
B.) John Lennon
D.) Frank Sinatra
THE ACTUAL DUSTY ANSWERS: A, B, B, B, A. Extra Credit Answer: C