Over the weekend, reacting to Alfonso Soriano's tragicomic play in left field, Bob Brenly said that he could "throw a dart at the Cub dugout" and be sure of hitting someone who would be a better defensive leftfielder than Soriano.

This frank and colorfully expressed appraisal seems to have made Brenly an instant hero to hosts on Chicago's two sportstalk radio stations. In fact, Brenly is scheduled to appear on ESPN1000 Wednesday afternoon between 2pm and 6pm.

I think Brenly is a first-rate analyst, and it's hard to dispute the essence of what he said, but I hope we're not headed for the sort of circus that ensued when Steve Stone blasted the team on-air during the Dusty regime.

It could only be a distraction to a contending team and lead to bad feelings between Brenly and the team he is supposed to be covering.

Read the latest from the lunkhead manager of the Cincinnati Reds.

Cub players, as quoted by Paul Sullivan in the Tribune, wish to absolve Dusty Baker of:

1. Overusing, and thus causing the arm problems suffered by, Kerry Wood and Mark Prior
2. Facilitating the Kent Mercker/Steve Stone kerfuffle
3. Responsibility for the Cubs' collapse in 2004
4. Enabling Carlos Zambrano's temper tantrums and generally juvenile behavior
5. Preventing Ryan Theriot's development by playing him behind Neifi Perez
6. Not being Lou Piniella

That's a lot to not be reponsible for. Good thing we got that cleared up.

What you are about to read is true:

• As I write this, the National League's highest batting average (.538) belongs to Jason Kendall.

• Corey Patterson, among the last free agents to find a home this past off-season, is tied for second in the NL with four home runs.

• Dusty Baker is thinking about how he might contribute to the long-term health of his young pitching phenoms.

• Those hateful St. Louis Cardinals, who were finally going to get their due this year and maybe just maybe experience life near the bottom of the NL Central, are sitting on top of it. And Kyle Lohse, who shared membership with Corey Patterson in the Please Won't Somebody Sign Me? Club this winter and early spring, didn't allow a run in his first 12 innings in Cardinal colors.
  

• The Miguel Cabrera-enhanced Tigers, who were going to slug it out with the Indians for the AL Central title, inflict terror on the rest of the American League, and put 1,000 runs on the board this season, are last in the AL in run-scoring, which has a lot to do with the fact that they also have the worst record in Major League Baseball.

• Carlos Zambrano, who was the losing pitcher in the Cubs' 5-3 defeat to the Phillies Friday night, has simply stopped walking people. After walking more men than any other NL pitcher in each of the last two seasons, Z has passed just two hitters in 19 2/3 IP this season. At that rate, assuming he pitches the same number of innings this season as he did in '07, he'll walk 22 men. Last year, he walked 101.

• Former Cub Cliff Floyd, who began life as a Tampa Bay Ray by collecting five hits in his first 15 at-bats including two home runs, has landed on the Disabled List.

If you've followed Cliff Floyd's career, that last item is probably not hard for you to believe.

On Tuesday, Dusty Baker's new employer signed former Cub/Oriole Corey Patterson to a minor league contract. According to mlb.com, Baker, the ol' on-base-percentage discounter, "lobbied publicly for Cincinnati to sign a lefty-hitting leadoff hitter like Patterson or Kenny Lofton."

There's a difference, of course, between being a "leadoff hitter" and a guy who just happens to find his name in the first slot on his manager's lineup card. Lofton, with 7,929 lifetime plate appearances and a .371 OBP from the top spot is a LEADOFF HITTER; Patterson, with 711 leadoff plate appearances and a corresponding .299 OBP, is not.

Put another way--the Arcane Cubs List way--here are the players with the ten lowest cumulative on-base percentages and a minimum 3,000 plate appearances since 2001, Corey Patterson's first full season in the big leagues:

Brother, that's one ugly team picture.

In the interest of fairness to the Cubs, I should point out that the Alex Gonzalez listed is not the one who played here in Chicago. In the interest of denigrating the Cubs, I should point out that Brandon Inge, sitting there in the number 6 position on the list, was linked to the Cubs via trade rumor on Tuesday.

Steve Stone, who left the Cubs broadcasting team after the '04 season following run-ins with thin-skinned reliever Kent Mercker and manager Dusty Baker, will be joining the White Sox radio crew in '08. He'll be the third man in the radio booth with Ed Farmer and Chris Singleton but only for the 13 Friday games the Sox play at U.S. Cellular Field.

Last August, Stone filled in for former Cub Darrin Jackson on the Sox tv broadcasts alongside play-by-play man Ken "He Gone!" Harrelson.

From Ed Sherman in the Tribune:

"The Sox have been great to me," Stone said. "To have a chance to keep a hand in calling games is something I wanted to do. I do love broadcasting baseball. I like Ed and Chris. It should be fun."

However, there's a chance the arrangement might not survive the season. With Tribune Co. set to sell the Cubs, Stone has expressed interested in having a role with the new owners.

Again, it is about keeping his options open.

"Nobody knows when the new owner will take over," Stone said. "The only thing I can say is if I'm familiar with the people who will own the team, I would like to have a discussion with them."

I've written about Stone in this space before; about how I think his divorce from the Cubs after 18 mostly good years, seems to have left him a bitter know-it-all, at least when the subject of his conversation is the Chicago Cubs.

I hope he has no connection to the new owners. I don't see that Stone is qualified for the Major League front office position he has openly lobbied for in the past, and I don't think the position of Bitter Know-It-All is one the Cubs should worry about filling.

I was picking through some old Chicago Tribune articles in preparation for posting this at The Cub Reporter, and I came across an article by the Trib's Phil Rogers, dated 11/17/02.

It mostly defies comment, except to say that Reds phenoms Bailey and Johnny Cueto are probably in for the rides of their lives, not to mention some quality time with an orthopedic surgeon or two.

The one time you could always count on [Kerry Wood getting angry] was when there were runners on base and the manager--be he Bruce Kimm, Don Baylor or Jim Riggleman--was on his way to pull Wood from a game in which he had the lead.

One side effect of the Dusty Baker hiring is that this should happen less often...We can declare that for the Cubs the pitch count has gone the way of Illinois' death penalty--out of the picture until further notice, though probably not forever...

There are some things we suspect about Baker's approach to managing the Cubs.

He'll be reluctant to sacrifice hitting for fielding.

He'll bunt early and often, as did Baylor.

He'll bring in relievers to get one out...

But there is only one thing we can say definitively about Baker's approach: He'll get the absolute most out of Wood, [Mark] Prior and [Matt] Clement.

No manager pushes his starters harder.

In San Francisco, Baker's starters threw 120 or more pitches more times than any other team in the majors in three of the last four seasons. The only exception came in 2001, when Arizona workhorses Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling had 18 extended outings between them.

During these four seasons, Livan Hernandez and the other Giants starters worked 120-plus pitches 87 times. That's 50 more than the Cubs, who have proceeded with caution since Wood tore a ligament in his elbow after being ridden hard in 1998...

But there's an odd thing about the workload Baker has given the Giants' starters. It seemed to make them stronger.

Hernandez, Russ Ortiz and Kirk Rueter haven't been on the disabled list at any time over the last three seasons.

"A lot of that has to do with the shape [pitchers] are in," Baker said about the durability of San Francisco's starters. "They stay in shape during the winter. ... You've got to give [Giants pitching coach] Dave Righetti a tremendous amount of credit for when they throw in between starts, how much they throw, how much they run and how they stay in shape through the course of the year."

Baker, unlike many managers who were good hitters, never has seemed to have trouble being accepted by his pitchers.

"I considered myself a good clutch hitter, a good hitter, and in order to do that, you have to understand pitchers," Baker said. "You have to be tolerant to the point where you understand your pitchers and take time to understand them. ... I trust my staff and I try to let them do their job and not try to micromanage everything in every department."

Baker used 42 starting pitchers during his 10 years in San Francisco, including 11 in the magical 1993 season. John Burkett and Billy Swift were the only pitchers who made more than 18 starts that season. The rest of the cast included Trevor Wilson, Bud Black, Bryan Hickerson and Jeff Brantley.

Yet the Giants somehow improved from 72-90 to 103-59 in Baker's first season as a manager. And no, it didn't hurt that it was also Barry Bonds' first season in San Francisco.

No one is predicting Baker will trigger anywhere near this kind of a turnaround with the Cubs. But he's going to have fun working with Wood, Prior and Clement.

The Reds are close to naming a manager, and the Cincinnati Enquirer, among others, says Johnnie B. Baker Jr. has interviewed for the position.

The paper also says the Reds "are known to have interest" in former Cub catcher and ex-Marlins manager Joe Girardi. But it is the prospect of hiring Baker that has moved Cincinnatians to florid prose like this:

"No manager at all would be a step up from Dusty. He mismanages every team he has ever been with!!!"

"Hiring Dusty Baker would be a train wreck and hurt this team for years to come. Please take your time and find the right fit for this team. Dusty Baker is not it!"

"Vote NO for Dusty. If he was any good someone would have taken him already. his comments on ESPN are terrible. he does not use young talent right and that is what we have here. VOTE NO FOR DUSTY"

"I think it has already been said 100 times before, but it is worth putting my 2c in. Dusty Baker would be a disaster for this team. He has a horrendous reputation for overworking his pitching staff and the Reds have a couple of lively young arms. If (Reds GM Wayne) Krivsky hires Baker, he might as well make reservations for (Homer) Baily and (Johnny) Cueto at (Dr. Timothy) Kremchek's table - operating table."

You can read more comments here, but I imagine you get the gist.